Grateful

I do devotions with my ESL students every morning, despite the fact that they don't really care and I'm not sure if any 'seed of faith' is being planted. If it is, I'll never know. Many of these 16-year-olds come from a catholic backround, but have never read the Bible. Another girl, from Taiwan, mentioned her parents using a psychic to help them with their health troubles. There is a variety of beliefs, and I have zero experience with that. I literally have grown up surrounded by Christians.
In my opinon, I am the last person to try and evangelize. I tried to convince myself that this job was not about trying to show Jesus to these students, but rather about helping them learn english and not be obnoxious. I was lying to myself. How could it be anything else BUT trying to show them Jesus? If I am a Christian, I am going to live according to Christ. That includes my job.
So I've been showing them Nooma videos because, despite people who say Rob Bell is too much about love and acceptance and not enough about God and morals, these kids actually listen to it. The videos are a little simplified, which is good. It makes a starting point for conversation. Besides, it's got english sub-titles.
One of the responses they wrote about was on Gratefulness. I tried to explain the word, "It's like thankfulness, but more. It's not like getting a gift, it can be something that is really hard and then you realize is a good thing." While most of them wrote about family and friends, one girl mentioned her struggle with coming to Canada and feeling lonely, questioning her parents leaving her in this odd culture, so far from Korea. She wrote a whole page about what she was struggling with and who she was mad at....her 'grateful' paper became an upheaval of frustration.

It made me wonder... when we are grateful, does that mean we just choose to thank God for the stuff that we can now see as a good thing? Or does it mean admitting we are confused and hurt, and in need of something bigger than our own pain? Being grateful is humbling. It's letting go of pride and self-sufficiency, and saying that your pain and loneliness had a purpose for something you could not have imagined.
It's easy to stay frustrated. I truly hope my student is able to find that 'something bigger' so she can have something to be grateful for.