Invoking prayer.

As the countdown ( 1 week! ) begins for my entry into the world of naturopathic medicine, I still feel like there are many unprocessed thoughts bumping around in my brain, and part of me worries that this makes me less of who I am. However, I spent the past weekend celebrating a wedding on a rocky island in Lake Huron, and the desolate beauty of the landscape was a muse for my prayers, at the very least, to take shape. Here are some of my invocations.

You, oh Lord, have preserved me. New ideas and inspirations are soothing reminders that I am still who I am despite the frustrations and limitations of expression that this past year has been.

I ask for a honed purpose, strong discipline balanced with great grace, and abundant fellowship that encompasses challenging conversations, silent comfortability, and the daily livelihood of planting and sowing, reaping and harvesting.

I can't see how the beginning of all this will be. I can't see how I will get through the nerves and excitement of meeting new people, new teachers, new places. Make me confident, Lord, that I may be a light to others seeking fellowship. Make me humble, Lord, that I may have the discernment of how to speak and interact in a loving, selfless manner. Make me strong, Lord, that I remain in your presence and knowledge, and seek your wisdom as my intellect expands into new areas.

I want to be the type of person, the type of doctor, that is not swarmed by or even considers competition. I want to instigate collaboration, have the eyes and ears that discern and can voice where it is hindered and where it is fostered. I want to be able to speak with wisdom and authority in people's lives, but also with humility and questions that acknowledge and recognize the grand mystery amidst the order of this world. Purify my intents, oh Lord, that I pursue holiness and not glory, that I truly place the needs of my community above my own - that I am passionate for social justice and my small role in it - like the wedding blessing, that I 'create beauty in my corner of the world'.

Banish loneliness, Lord, so that even when I am alone I am filled with the heart of fellowship.

Banish bad attitudes and criticisms and restlessness, so that I can speak the truth in grace & love to those I am with.

Bless me with the thirst for knowledge and the ability to process it all and make it my own.

I pray for words...words that bring clarity of expression, a language that invokes bigger questions and the humility of prayer. Words that cover long distances, that offer moments of vulnerability, that carry love and affection despite the gaps of age, experience, or time. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. You have brought me here, Lord. Reveal your strength to me. Amen.