I should be writing more

This last half of the semester is flying by. I am leaving for the Netherlands to visit a dear friend at the end of this week, and after that I will be in my last weeks of my freshman life. Things have already changed in this past semster; over half my friends have switched or modified their majors (but we all know this is highly probable), 3 have begun dating (which, also, is probable but alas! must it begin so soon?), and I have realized some things about myself and God that have hit me harder than I thought.
This past week has seemed to be focused on vocation. We had a HELP day with conferences and academic advisor meetings. Even the chapel speakers we have had recently were reminding us of our future, and how our actions in the present will affect it. For instance, we worry alot about vocation, and money, and the decisions we have to make concerning our major and career. One speaker reminded us that our first calling is our heart; to follow after God. (Which is a heck of a lot more difficult than the way it sounds). Another, whom I might have fallen in love with, is Shane Claiborne. He talked with us about the kind of lives we can live, and how he valued the uniqueness in each individual spreading God's kingdom. Just read his book The Irresistible Revolution; I cannot explain his message in a blog.
These are all challenging perspectives. They are not inspirations that temporarily raise our spirits, or minor shock-values that make us send some money to a charity every now and then. These are callings, vocations to a life that is void of instant gratification and comfort. It requires choice, and heart.
Along with these speakers, I've recently been immersed in films concerning the Rwanda genocide, blood diamonds, brothels and human trafficking, and other world epidemics. Even my biology class is emphasizing the growing need of the right human decisions concerning environmental and agriculture in our country as well as those in poverty.
What is my response when I am overwhelmed with the world's need, and all I am doing is studying in college? What good am I, spending money on education and building relationships in America?
It's been a tough, restless week for me for this reason. I struggle with my vocation right now, not my future vocation. And I realize that all I can do is trust God. All I can do is search, and to not ignore the restlessness in my heart. I do not want to be a comfortable christian, and thankfully God is reminding me of that.
As for now, I cannot save the world. My position is to learn and grow, and not in a 'I'm waiting for God's direction before I can help you', but in humble, searching awareness. As Mother Theresa said, all I can do is small things with great love. And perhaps that's all I will ever be able to do.